Background Information

According to psychologist and researcher John Gottman, mate attraction and selection may be either hormonal or the potential result of a phenomenon known as imprinting. This theory suggests that we can become psychologically conditioned to being attracted to a distinct parental personality type, with the accompanying need for love, by the time we’re 18 months old. This “imprinting” is the result of a combination of factors, including, perhaps most importantly, how we received (or were deprived of) love, intimacy, and security from our parent(s) or primary guardian.

Imprinting may also influence an individual’s relationship attachment tendencies. Based on the works of Bartholomew and Horowitz, etc., there are four relationship attachment styles: secure (stable love), anxious-preoccupied (unstable love), dismissive-avoidant (absent and/or distant love), and fearful-avoidant (fearful and/or painful love). 

Similar to imprinting, we may internalize from a young age the dominant form of parental attachment style in our lives. This psychological and social conditioning can then become our subconscious blueprint for mate attraction and selection.

Putting it all together...

Before taking this assessment, I want you to be in a quiet location and give yourself time to decompress and journal. This assessment is intentionally placed after all of the other assessments because you are going to feel like all the information you've learned about yourself thus far is coming together in a big AHA moment.

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