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12 Questions to Find A Partner

Be thoughtful in answering these as they will set the tone for how you vet and filter through prospective dating partners. If they don't align or wouldn't be a match based on these answers, move on to the next prospect. Do not waste time dating someone where you know it will end from the start.

Answering these relationship questions is essential because they help individuals clarify their values, desires, and boundaries, laying a solid foundation for intentional and fulfilling partnerships. These questions prompt deep reflection on what one seeks to give and receive in a relationship, as well as what they are willing or unwilling to tolerate. By understanding intrinsic desires versus compromises they might make for a partner, individuals can better communicate their expectations and avoid misunderstandings. Additionally, identifying dealbreakers and ultimatums ensures that individuals uphold their self-respect and emotional well-being. Ultimately, this self-awareness fosters healthier, more aligned relationships by empowering individuals to make informed choices about who they invest their time and energy in.


QUESTIONS:

1. What is your purpose of a relationship? 

2. What are your dealbreakers? (you either need or don’t want these)

examples: kids (yes or now, how many, in what way (natural, adoption, etc), the when or if of marriage, religion, substance use, smoking, money, sex 

3. What do you want to give?

4. What do you want to get?

5. What do you want to receive? 

6. What do you want to provide? ( want = intrinsic desire, internal drive to do so)

7. What are you willing to provide? (willing = you don’t want to per definition above, but you would be willing to because your partner asked for it and you care about them/want to please them, so you would do it, so the providing of X may look different than if they “wanted to” ie: not as enthusiastic. ask yourself if that matters and what’s most important, that it gets done or how it gets done)

8. What are you hoping to provide?

9. What are you hoping to be appreciated for?

10. What do you need from your partner?

11. What would make you happy?

12. What are you unwilling to tolerate?

13. What are your ultimatums/dealbreakers? If someone did this, anyone, the relationship is over. Or you wouldn't even get into a relationship if it didn't include X. Think of it as answering the statement  “I would rather be alone than ______"

eg: date someone who does drugs, date someone who doesn't love dogs, date someone who comes from - or doesn't come from - a divorced family, etc.

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